It is often difficult to refrain from being judgmental of others when their behaviors and characteristics are so different from our own. At these times it is good to remember that each one of us is unique. Each of us have our own abilities that we were born with, distinct behaviors, and personal interests as well as flaws and levels of interest from no interest at all to a very high interest level in any number of subjects.
The behaviors and characteristics of each of us are influenced by our own particular unique abilities, background and experiences, and our culture. While we tend to categorize and organize all things, including the characteristics of people, it is important to remember that every person is unique.
While we may be impatient and become irritated or angry with those we encounter socially, those with whom we work, or other adults that we live with or are joined with through family relationships, it is much better if we can learn to relax and let go. Allow yourself to be accepting of them just the way they are, and know that they are on their own path. You are not responsible for their behaviors or their characteristics.
For instance, one of the most frustrating things that spouses or partners can do to each other is to try to change one or the other and shape them into a mold that would be more pleasing to them. This sort of attempted behavior management never works, and will only cause greater frustration, irritation, and anger for you and for them.
It is a very cumbersome burden and an impossible task to attempt to change someone else. Any person can make changes and adjustments in their behaviors; however, it must come from within them.
Even though we each tend to think that our own characteristics and behaviors are those that other people should measure up to, if the truth were known and other minds could be read, we would each, undoubtedly, discover that other people in our lives may be just as irritated and annoyed with certain of our characteristics and behaviors as we are with theirs.
We expect others to accept us just the way we are, even though we may or may not be aware that certain of our behaviors and characteristics annoy other people around us from time to time. We recognize and accept our own uniqueness and will find life to be much easier if we accept the uniqueness and differences of others as well.
Holding onto judgmental feelings which cause us to become irritated or angry at others is unhealthy physically and mentally. It serves no worthwhile purpose and only alienates the possibility of coming to an understanding of one another. It is good that we are different. The differences that exist in humans is displayed in the seeds of creativity and changes that make the world interesting and continuously new.
Instead of reacting with judgment and anger, it is far better, whenever possible, to attempt to open communication and get to know from a deeper level the source and reasoning behind someone else’s behaviors. This communication, however, must be done without judgement, because behaving or speaking from a judgmental viewpoint anywhere in the communication will defeat the purpose.
So relax, develop a sense of humor about the differences, learn to appreciate the positive aspects, and above all, know that you are not responsible for their behaviors and must not attempt to make yourself responsible. You are ok, and they are ok.
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