The Princessa : Machiavelli for Women

There's a sidelong sensibility at work in this post-feminist analog to the Renaissance's great work of strategy. Harriet Rubin urges women to triumph by turning their enemies into allies and their fear into power; by enlarging their sphere rather than defending it; and by learning to best instead of win.

But there's a delicate wryness to the art of balancing tensions to one's advantage. One of the most telling examples is that of Sun Tzu, who bet the emperor he could turn the twelve royal concubines into fierce warriors, but was bested by the concubines, who simply giggled when he barked orders at them. Modern women may find interpreting this a challenge, but an entertaining one.

Product Description
A legacy of leadership for women only.

For centuries men have used the lessons of Machiavelli's The Prince to gain and hold power. Today's women, struggling to succeed in a man's world, must learn a crucial lesson of their own: men and women are not equal--and that is a woman's greatest strength. From the wars of intimacy to battles of public life, whether confronting bosses, competitors, or lovers, the greatest power belongs to the woman who dares to use the subtle weapons that are hers alone.

This provocative work urges women to claim what they want and deserve, offering a bold new battle plan that celebrates a woman's unique gifts: passion and intuition, sensitivity and cunning. It draws from history's legendary female divas and poets, saints and sinners, artists and activists--who, armed with a desire for justice and a spirit of outrageousness, achieved their impossible dreams. Their lasting legacy is codified in The Princessa: act like a woman, fight like a woman, and life will be yours to command.

I found it easier to forget Machiavelli when reading Rubin: the Princessa, while taking the Prince as a starting point, is not in any way a "reading" of the classic text, nor even a variation. It is an attempt to counter its influence amongst would-be movers and shakers, who, whatever Machiavelli's ironic intention, take his "screw them to rule" advice as gospel.

I found her examples illuminating; given the size of the book, I couldn't expect a detailed dissertation on each character she chooses as a role model - if you want to know Gandhi in shades of grey, read a biography of Gandhi; if you want inspiration from his essential strategy in getting the British to "quit India" without resorting to violence, then you will find it, alongside many other sketches.

This book is not a replacements for our own instincts and learning, nor for more sustained arguments on women and the role of the feminine, rather it encourages us to look at prevailing orthodoxy, and see how this orthodoxy has failed women. For my money, Rubin gets it right - not everywhere, but in the main. And her chapters on power anorexy and tension hit the mark particularly. It has set me thinking in many different ways, it has helped me in others, it has guided some of my decisions to good effect, and it has challenged some of my assumptions. Not perfect in spite of the 5 stars, but a little gem all the same. Sceptics beware - this book is not for you. But if you are open-minded and want more from life than other people's rules...read it, return to it and pass it on.


Getting It Done As Only a Woman Can   June 15, 2000
Professor Donald Mitchell (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 97,000 Helpful Votes Globally)
18 out of 21 found this review helpful

Power is one of those areas where writers have looked at the question from a male perspective or a unisex one that seems to be primarily male. To conceive of a book about women grasping and using power was a novel idea that quickly attracted my attention when the book first came out.

I have had the pleasure of sharing this book with many women in business and later discussing the book with them. Clearly, the part of the book where Rubin argues that women should act like women in gaining and using power is very controversial with some women.

The most extreme example of this point in dividing women readers I know is the advice to cry in front of men. Many women feel like this will cost them power, rather than gain them power. Others want to play the game like a man, and don't want to remind men that they are women. Other women feel that they should cry if they feel like it. Why shouldn't they?

So, one of the interesting aspects of this book is that it helps the reader (female or male) to understand more about her or his assumptions about power. My experience is that coming to grips with assumptions is the essential first step to making progress, in this case towards more effective uses of power.

A fascinating aspect of the book is that there are so few female historial characters for Rubin to draw on. Though each one is full of useful insights. I only wish there could have been more.

An argument that Rubin makes is that many men would like women to take charge more. That makes sense to me. Why should women always hang back to see what the men want to do? Certainly, in our company the women who have done best are those who have taken charge. Unfortunately, opening the door and inviting people to step through it to set their own course is not enough for some.

I encourage any woman (or man) who works with people of the opposite sex to read this book and think about its implications. Then use it as a discussion base for helping power be used more appropriately in your organization.

Have a powerfully good time reading this book!


A very, very special book, not like anything I've ever read   June 30, 1999
7 out of 7 found this review helpful

I very much enjoyed reading this book and keep picking it up again and again. It lifts my spirits. I gives me the feeling that I'm right about what I believe and that deceit and hatred is not necessary to get what you want.

It's about combining love and war, that they are not opposites, but complement each other, and that your allowing your emotions to be present in everything you do can actually help and not hinder you. It suggests that you can draw on your love to tap your own energy and that you can succeed by loving people, by helping them, by connecting to them, and turning enemies into allies.

This book describes and explains these ideas beautifully. You still have to make them your own and see how to actually apply these concepts yourself, but I think that's the beauty of it. You succeed because you're you, with your own beliefs, strength' and weeknesses, and they all come together. What a concept!!


This is not a how-to book   December 30, 2001
weberwu (Berlin, Germany)
9 out of 10 found this review helpful

I, too, am amazed at the differences in the reviews. I go with the "read-4-times-a-year" group. This is not a how-to book with step-by-step instructions on how to get and keep power. Perhaps that is why people are so violently opposed to it: they think Rubin is telling women to cry to get their way. I read it more like: it is okay to cry, if you have tried everything else and that has failed.

I find it quite meditative and like to read a chapter here and there at night. I usually sets me off analyzing situations I have recently encountered. And I must say, many of her insights are quite helpful.

I recommend this book to every woman I encounter who had just taken a step up the power ladder!


I was struck by the stark contrast of the reviews   September 4, 2000
16 out of 20 found this review helpful

In reading over some of the reviews of this book I was struck by the stark contrast of them. To me this is evidence of the "power" of this book. I think the women (and men) who have read this book and say they hate it are true Princes and Princessas who have no need for what is obvious to them-and are discounting this book in order to maintain their own personal "power". Good for them!

The ones who love it are learning some new valuable ways of thinking from this book. Whether or not all of the historical references are correct or incorrect doesn't really matter to me. The references did interest me in finding out more about those historical figures, while her "interpretations" of them and her views on how a woman should apply Machiavelli's theories got me thinking about strategy more consciously than I had in the past. My point is, whether I agree or disagree with what she says in this book, and whether you agree or disagree, reactions are strong. This is the sign of something successful, something which is stirring emotions and inciting some actions.

I am a woman who has been in business for myself for the past 8 years. I have a Master of Science in Communication. I think her points are basically good ones. Some I think are questionable, such as the crying one. I do think that crying is either a manipulative tool or a weak reaction, and not one of true power. If one does cry it has to be honest and uncontrollable crying (a weak reaction). That has happened to me in the past and I found it much more disempowering than empowering. True, I did get what I wanted in the end, but there was no sense of satisfaction in getting it that way. There was shame. It puts a fear in the person(s) witnessing the crying- of hurting that person, and a shame in the person doing the crying -that they will be thought of as weak and unbalanced. There is no true power without balance.

But, I found most of her other points good ones and noticed that in my business I do apply many of them. In business I have been successful with the men I work with by using (though unconsciously to this point) many of the tactics she describes. It is still difficult for women to make it in the business world. That is a definite. I think she is right when she says that women should not try to simulate men, but use their tactics without losing ones femininity. I don't believe that many women who have reviewed this book really understand what she is trying to say. Either that, or they don't have the sex appeal to use on men (some women don't). And I don't mean flaunting ones sexuality or dressing it up or anything like that. I just mean being attractive-in a sublime way. That's enough. Therefore they are angry that it is an advantage to have. And believe me it is an advantage. And it is awful that women need to have this trait while men don't. But that is because women are trying to break through a barrier of men who do put a value on attractiveness, like it or not. Men only have to deal with one another-so attractiveness never mattered. If the tables were turned and it were a matriarchical society I'm sure that women would not be impressed with unattractive, unkempt, spitting, fat, badly dressed men who were outward women haters and who would blame every woman for holding them back. Women would surely hold those men down from achievement. And men, similarly, are not impressed with radical feminists who place blame on men.

Women have an intrinsic power over men which men don't have over women. Unfortunately, until there are many more women in positions of power, it is our only ace in the hole in such a patriarchical society to get to that point. Any way we can get their attention and get them to let us into their "boys club" is an advantage. But ultimately we want them as partners, not as submissives. We have to play a smarter game than they have! ;)